I'm tired, and should be in bed by now. But I know I haven't written here in awhile, and I have a few things I wanted to note.
Preparing to, and then actually visiting A. in New York City, as well as trying to catch up on all I've missed while I was away, has been a bit taxing. I think I've finally managed it, though.
Right now, I feel very lucky. I'm in a good space, but so much not-as-good to downright bad is going on around me that I don't feel like I deserve it.
Frankly, Hurricane Katrina kicked this off. I've got a friend (who started off as an Internet acquaintance, but we did meet once in person, and I do consider him a friend by now) who had just moved to New Orleans. Luckily (though he might argue this one), he was out of town at the time, and, for that matter, had moved into an area that escaped relatively unscathed.
Then it got even more personal. My cousin's oldest daughter--a mere 13-year-old, by memory--started getting migraines. They eventually took her in and did an MRI, which found something (undefined, of course). They decided to do a biopsy, which happened recently. During that procedure, they figured out that her optical nerve and her pituitary gland were both twice the size that they should be. She has since gone blind in one eye. The decision of what to do and the results of the biopsy should be in this week, I'd expect. If you have spare good vibes to send, she could use them.
Tonight, I learned that a gaming bud's house burned down about a week ago, taking his car with it. You can actually see his car burning in the background of the picture here. He was on the first floor, and got out relatively easily, luckily.
Then the earthquake in Pakistan caught my attention. I know these things happen all the time--from the fire effecting only a few people to the gigantic tragedies--but it hits me no less, sometimes. I'm very glad to be happy, warm, safe, and sound. Just a bit ago, I emailed a friend from college back and explained a bit about my job. I may repost that here, just to give folks a bit of a reference point. Right now, though, I'm going to sleep, so that I can hopefully catch up with some local friends for a noon showing of Serenity.
It's the small things.
1 comment:
Just my two cents here, but life's not about "deserving" anything. Bad things happen with alarming regularity to good people, and bad people routinely get breaks they shouldn't be entitled to. Life isn't fair or just. It just is (though that isn't to say that good people also don't get some happiness too, y'know) So take the good that you've got and love the hell out of it. No guilt. No feelings of undeservedness. 'Cause, if you must put it in the "deserving" framework, I think you've had enough bad to pay off some good. If you've gotta, that is. Needs must when your paradigm is driving and all that.
This may not be the most coherent bit I've ever written to you (I'm a bit on the tired side, here), but that doesn't mean that I mean it any less.
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